Pep Talks
creativity is hard
Some of us panic when we are tasked to write something.
For business-minded people, being creative is scary, but there are things that we’ve learned throughout this process that are worth sharing:
1. Creativity is hard. We give a lot of credit to the creatives of the world because it is hard. It’s hard to put yourself out there.
2. Not everything has to be brilliant. Put pen to paper and run with the idea. If it sucks, come back to it.
3. Trust yourself. Creativity can be a vulnerable experience, but it’s also a practice in leading and trusting yourself.
You’ve got this.
find selah moments
Wise words from Hannah Blanton of SELAH Contemporary Arts:
"Artists, I want to encourage all of you. Tell your own story through your work, surround yourself with trustworthy people who will cheer you on and yet question and challenge you, be thoughtful about material you use, and balance it with rest...please find rest and seek out beauty, nature, other places that inspire you. Find selah moments. These moments are where most of the creativity and magic begins.
A dear friend and yoga teacher, Johnna, often shares from her teacher a favorite message of mine I'd like to share with you: I hope you'll come back to this quote when or if you start to doubt yourself...'
Practice, practice, practice...all is coming, all is coming.'"
What’s really possible ‘If --’
I think a cousin to the conversation about possibility involves the word ‘If’. In the business world, ’If’ is often paired with options. (‘If this’ or ‘what if we tried this?’ or 'If these numbers come in here, then we can do this here.')
Here’s a good refresher to stir your soul as to what’s really possible ‘If --’
Hot pastries and customer service
This past Sunday, a local bakery opened at 9am. (Now, just think about that for a second - a local bakery opened at 9am on a Sunday. When we got there at 9:15am, nothing was warm, nothing was ready. And I mean, nothing. It’s Sunday morning. 9:15am. There’s a church across the street. The only thing to buy were scones from the day before. They told us to come back - as well as the people behind us. They made us buy the scones. How does that happen? None of this is okay. Food is a classic example of how art and business come together magically. In this case, handcrafted, hot pastries and customer service 101. Now name the number of things that could have been better possible strategies here.
Move over, I’ll start. What’s possible if…
...you give everyone free coffee until the pastries are ready?
...you don’t ask the customers to begrudgingly buy what’s just sitting there?
...you’re open on time, when you say you’ll be open, with the items your customers want?
Well said
“Life is revealed as a place to contribute and we as contributors. Not because we have done a measurable amount of good, but because that is the story we tell.”
- Benjamin Zander, The Art of Possibility
What do you contribute?
How do you contribute?
Where do you contribute?
Why do you contribute?
I have a question - actually a lot of questions
I have a question; like, a lot of questions: Questions - questions like what’s possible, par example - are the most amazing middle path between artistry and business. When I heard Hal Gregerson speak about the power of questions, at the Global Peter Drucker Forum in 2018, I had an aha!: as many questions as I do ask, there’s room to ask more. In fact, the world needs me to ask more questions. Here’s a good intro to Gregerson’s philosophy on questions.
What’s possible now for your question asking skills - and the answers?
a lot.
“A lot.”: I walked through a space this week with its owner and a videographer. It was a dark, virtually empty, under restoration, old church that’s being transformed into a restaurant this summer. I asked the videographer, a former student of mine, what she saw in the space - again, dark, damp, a work in progress. She paused for a second before answering. “A lot,” she said. As an artist, her brain and her eye see things I don’t see. And vice versa.
Questionforya: When was the last time you asked someone else what they saw in a place, a person, or an experience?
And did you actually listen to the answer?
take care of your people
Something to consider: How do corporate or business policies - which are really culture plays within your org - impact or influence the diversity of people in your organization across age, race, gender, experience? If you think company policies aren’t conversations about messaging or storytelling, you’re wrong - what do you think your team members say about your organization outside of the organization? They are your biggest fans - or the first to roll their eyes. Take care of your people.
be mindful of how you use descriptive words
Be mindful how you use descriptive words - words like female. The biggest one out there which you’ll see this month is ‘female entrepreneur’ or ‘female business owner’. I’m not the first to say we don’t describe male entrepreneurs or male business owners like that. Not sure how to talk about her or introduce her? Ask her. Ask her what language she’s comfortable with or how she describes herself.
Who's at the table? Who's missing?
I cannot stress enough how important it is to publicly ask your organization two questions: 1) Who is at the table? and 2) Who is missing?(Hat tip to Tenisha "Ava" Williams with Solution Consulting Co. for this lesson.) Absolutely every, single table - whether it’s a monthly touch base meeting or an annual board retreat - needs to ask these two questions. Why? You’ll be a better and stronger organization when the table doesn’t look just like you.
Feature Women
When featuring women for Women’s History Month (or all the other months of the year, people), here’s an idea: Yes, feature women; but also consider giving them the opportunity to share their own thoughts and voice. A good example: Is there a senior leader, who is a woman, who might be interested in penning an open letter to the team or to clients? Giving women space to share their voice is important; again, year-round, but if we’re ‘leaning in’ this month, think about it.
good listen: here’s a bit of a throwback AND a daily reminder of the power of Nike ads.
Content mix is internal and external. That means creating space for your organization and team members to see, read, or meet different people ‘in the family’ of your business - whether that’s team members or perhaps clients and/or creative collaborators.
Year-Round Content & Messaging Reminders
March is Women’s History Month, and March 8 was International Women’s Day. I hope I don’t need to convince you to honor and celebrate women in your organization this month. I feel/felt the same way last month regarding African-American Heritage Month. BUT, as much as I appreciate the respective communication and storytelling in both months, I hope they serve as reminders to acknowledge, celebrate, and honor the talent supporting and driving your organization year-round - not just in those respective months. Your organization has talent that is diverse and interesting in not only work experience, but also, and more importantly, perspective and vision. Share it, acknowledge it, honor it 365 days a year.
So if March helps you and your organization bring greater awareness to female talent, I’m here for it.
Here’s something to consider for content this month, and every month moving forward:
The swell of information and content to acknowledge a culture conversation - like female-driven content for March - is important to honor this month, BUT your monthly content calendars should always be diverse in messaging to honor your team and business AND to reach your clients or potential clients; there should be diversity in experience, perspective, age, race, and gender featured every month. Yes, give it a little extra boost in months where it’s a cultural conversation, but you should always look at your content ‘mix’. A good question to ask: How do we showcase 360 degrees of our people, our organization, our products/services every month?
How to Start the Conversation About Mission, Vision & Values, #Hashtags for Equal and Equitable User Experience, A Manifesto for Spring & James Hong’s SAG speech
Aligning multiple humans around one central message is hard. Everyone comes to the writer’s room with different ideas and perspectives, experiences, motivations, or stories, the way they ‘think’ it should be in some cases; what the ‘data’ says in other cases. Just imagine what it’s like to try to get three or four people to land on a company’s tagline - which is only supposed to be three or four words. (Maybe it’s time to assign everyone one word in that tagline, and see what happens.)
As difficult as it is to get to that final product - whether it be a tagline or a one-page marketing slick - the process to get there is a really cool opportunity to bring brains together. That process can look like a couple of different things: weekly sessions to ‘chip’ away at it, intensive weekends, board meetings.
A potential client reached out several weeks ago with a need that’s not new to us in a post-pandemic world as companies and structures continue to shift: she’s at the helm of combining two businesses and needs support combining the messaging, or creating new messaging that’s the best of both businesses and impacts.
She’s starting with the foundational messaging, or what we like to call North Star pieces - messaging components like: mission, vision, and core values. To boot, the newly formed board wants to be a part of the process during their first retreat.
As much as this is about the final product - what mission, vision, and values the board decides on - the set-up to the process for this is more important.
If any of this sounds familiar or sounds like a situation you’re planning for, here’s some advice:
A week or two before the meeting, send out the Agenda for this conversation; if you think I’m bananas to send an Agenda that early, here’s the thought process - you want every person in attendance to do a ‘messaging warm-up lap’ before the meeting. The foundational messaging will impact internal and external communications and sometimes even the business itself - the people who are thinking about these pieces need some time to think.
On the flip side - the last thing you want to do is hand out the agendas on day one, and see that mission, vision, and values conversation is on the docket, and they’re just hearing about it. (If that’s the case, whatever time you allot to discuss and write these pieces during the meeting will never be enough.)In this Agenda communication, give them a heads up that you’ll be discussing mission, vision, and values during the meeting. Share clear definitions of what a mission, vision, and values is/are. These are messaging pieces that can be easily misunderstood across industries and generations, so set the pace and send out definitions ahead of time and bring those same definitions with you to the meeting to set the standard or pace.
As much as we all have a love/hate relationship with examples, I’d include examples of each along with those clear definitions. Maybe there's a brand you're following that's doing it all well; bring that as an example or 'standard of excellence'. And it’s okay if they’re popular examples - you’ll see/hear wheels turn when you share Nike’s mission statement or Patagonia’s core values. You’re not copying anything - you’re just teaching with some examples. I also wouldn’t get caught up trying to find good examples from your industry - cross-pollination thinking (thinking outside your business or industry) will spark an even more interesting conversation.
Give them some old fashioned homework to think through before the meeting. I’d sell it in a more fun way - our company sells it as ‘warm-up’ questions, but, in theory, they’re always things to think about before you walk in the door. Give them big, dreamy questions with one or two detailed questions, so you’re activating both the visionary brains and the tactical brains.
I’m talking about questions like:
What do we look like one year, three years, five years from now?
What's really special about this team and our experience?
What does value and quality look like for us?
Who is at the table with us - and who is missing? Who NEEDS to be here with us?
Coming to the table, what are 3-5 values that are critical to how we operate?
Some notes as you begin or continue this conversation either in the meeting or after:
I’m using verbs like ‘give’ and ‘share’ here - watch how often you use the word ‘have to’ or ‘need to’ - it changes how people show up to the table to discuss and brainstorm. ‘Giving someone something to think about…’ is different from ‘We need to figure this out by the end of this board retreat…”
There needs to be ONE person leading and guiding this discussion. That’s it. This is not a development opportunity for the junior staffer or the last one in. This role needs maturity, experience, and conversation skill.
I mentioned it earlier, and I’ll say it again - if you think you’re going to land on mission, vision, and values in one 60 minute session, you’re wrong. Either give it enough time during the retreat OR break it into installments like: brainstorming, first look, final review. The ticking clock impacts how brains think.
Oftentimes, these meetings become family reunions. What starts as four or five people meeting about this becomes about: ‘let’s share it with so-and-so for his thoughts…’ or ‘let’s send it to these stakeholders…’ - like I said, family reunion. Be really clear from the get-go who is at the table. And that table shouldn’t be all people who look and sound like you. You need your own Avengers team with different skills, perspectives, and experiences with your organization.
Remove the pressure to think there’s a right and wrong answer or message for any of these pieces; unless you’re carving them into stone tablets, they can grow and move and change with your organization. And they will. Because you will. All humans do.
101: Pay attention to how you use hashtags, wherever/however you use them - whether it’s on social media or ironically in other writing such as website copy or emails. Capitalize appropriately to make it easier for your reader to read and understand.
This was a lesson for me this week which I saw via Diane Nutting who shared it from Jamie Shields. Here’s the lesson >> “Your Hashtags Disable me online. When your Hashtags look like this: #puppyslaughter, they're not Accessible for People with Sight Loss, Neurodivergent people and people with Cognitive Disabilities. By using a Capital letter for each new word in your hashtag like this #PuppysLaughter, you are creating an Equal and Equitable user experience for everyone." (See this lesson from Jamie Shields on LinkedIn here.)
Good read: Has spring sprung? I guess it depends on where you live. Regardless, here’s Mindful and Good’s Manifesto to get you thinking green
Good listen: James Hong’s SAG speech
A t-shirt to Nigeria, land acknowledgement 101, women’s self-confidence & a reminder to let them hear you
Last February, I mailed a toth shop tee shirt to my friend, Daniel, who lives in Lagos, Nigeria.
Having mailed a similar package to Ghana a year before, I figured it would take a similar length of time to arrive. I checked in with him weeks later - no shirt; weeks again - no shirt. After a couple of months, I figured it was lost.
Then, in July, the package to Daniel returned to me in Charlotte. It was postmarked several places, proof it had, in fact, made it to Lagos - but, for some reason or another, struggled to get to his home. It made it from Charlotte to Africa - and back.
Via WhatsApp voice memos, we agreed to try another way. I would send it to his friend, Ada, in The Netherlands who would, in turn, mail it to Daniel. ‘Packages from Europe make it to Africa, better or faster or something,’ Daniel said.
In October, I mailed the package to Ada. In January 2023, the package to Ada returned to me. Again, it had made it all the way there - with postal marks from The Netherlands to prove it - and for some reason it was undeliverable.
At this point, it’s laughable. Like Flat Stanley, this tee is more well-traveled than most people. And it keeps coming back. This is probably the point in the story where we’d stand around the water cooler and laugh about the postal service.
I do know this - both times the package came back, I thought to myself: How am I going to get this there?
There are lots of times the world shrugs and flips on Netflix - oh well, f it, who cares, it’s just a tee. And it is. I’m not mailing Pulitizer prizes or rings of power.
Here’s the bigger q though: where’s YOUR brain go when whatever it is you're working on keeps “coming back”? Do you try again?
This weekend, I tried one more time - with the most pristinely-written address on a package mailed again to The Netherlands. I alerted all that the package was on its way. Because what’s funny is that we realized that, despite the effort to send to The Netherlands the first time, we never actually told Ada to expect the package. So, it was sitting there - and she didn’t know to look.
Just another reminder that, just like that text you replied to in your head, but you never actually sent, communication is both the smallest and biggest move.
101: We have a client who is delivering an address this week; she’s beginning the presentation with a land acknowledgement. What is a land acknowledgement? Here’s my definition: It’s a formal and public acknowledgement that there’s a story to this land that didn’t start when we pulled up our (Mayflower) moving van. Northwestern University says it well, too: “It’s a formal statement that recognizes and respects Indigenous Peoples as traditional stewards of this land and the enduring relationship that exists between Indigenous Peoples and their traditional territories.” I really like Northwestern’s approach to Land Acknowledgement communication and messaging.
Good read: Why are we still telling women they lack self-confidence? Seriously. Why. Dr. Ruth Gotian wrote about that very question for Forbes; read the article here. Good personal aha: Stop thinking about it as an either/or success or failure. Think about it as: achieve a goal or learn a lesson. Just that shift will change a lot for you, I promise.
Good listen: Ragtime’s “Make Them Hear You” by Bryan Stokes Mitchell
"It is important we know who we really are, our essence, so that those stories become the main character": A Q&A with Mindset Coach Cari Hebert
Last year, toth shop invited some of our partners and friends to share a little bit about how business and artistry come together in their respective worlds - all in 100 words or less.
One of the partners we featured was high-performance mindset coach, Carianna Hebert from The Being Approach. In her 100 words, she tackled a doozy of a phrase - 'I don't know.' It's one of those phrases that's equally comforting and challenging. How you think of it has a lot to do with your mindset - one of Cari's specialities, naturally.
In this Q&A, Cari talks about awareness, the stories we tell ourselves, and how we take action.
ms: What are some of your favorite pieces/parts of your own story?
ch: I love that I have lived many different lives within my one current life. From a very young age, I realized the power of my imagination and I love that I have been able to manifest many of the dreams that have occurred to me. Moving from a town of 700 people in New Hampshire to New York City for college, working in film in LA, landing my dream job in sports. Now getting to integrate all of my skills as a storyteller and creative to serve others in an intimate and empowering way. It really does feel like the dots line up in hindsight and I love being a work in progress.
ms: Over the years, what have you learned or become more aware of about yourself?
ch: In my work with coaching and personal development, I have become much more aware of my vulnerability and needs in relationships. As an oldest child, a Leo, an introvert - I have always related to being a leader and very independent. I enjoy my alone time. I need moments of silence and spaciousness in a day. Partnership and letting people see my process has been a challenge for me, but something that I’m getting so much out of in my thirties. It has taught me how nurturing it is to be seen for me, not just for the parts that are easy to show off.
ms: What are stories you hear a lot of people tell themselves?
ch: That something is wrong...whether it’s something wrong with themselves, their partners, their money, business, or the world. Our minds really love to focus on problems. Which, to be fair, has a purpose when we need to identify a gap and create solutions. However, I hear so many people on repeat with stories of not having enough, being the only one, self-judgment, worry, shame, blame, and I think it’s easy to get caught in relating to the world through our fears and feelings. It is important we also know who we really are, our essence, so that those stories become the main character.
ms: How do our personal stories impact our business or career stories - or vice versa?
ch: Well, I think that because what we think influences what we believe, and what we believe drives our actions, there is really no way to escape our personal stories. They are embedded in how we show up in the world, and since we spend so much of our lives working in careers - that can always be a powerful mirror. What we want to practice is directing our attention and thinking towards the beliefs we want to embody and act on behalf of. If we are operating from an outdated fear story (I.E. that we are not worthy), we might feel unnoticed, underappreciated and like there is something to prove in our work. We have to be the ones to look at what’s going on beneath the surface and get our personal needs met so that we can be powerful business leaders.
ms: If there’s one move someone can make today to move through their story or what’s blocking them, what would you tell them?
ch: Create clarity in who you want to be and what for. There has to be clarity and commitment in order to overcome persistent thoughts and habits. How do you want to show up for yourself, others, your business? Once you set the intention, the game to play is staying in integrity with that vision by aligning how you speak and how you act. Set the expectation that it’s a daily practice, not a destination.
ms: Awareness and action are a dynamo combo. What’s possible when awareness and action team up?
ch: True transformation. Integrity. Fulfillment. So much. I think as complex creatures we have such a love/hate relationship with change. We glorify it and we resist it at the same time. So many people I speak with are caught negotiating with their comfort zones - I want to change, but I am not willing to do the uncomfortable change. With just awareness, but not action, we stay the same. We don’t get the breakthrough, the growth. We have to integrate and act our way into new states of being. That to me is evolution and joy.
QUICK FIRE ROUND W CARI:
Favorite book: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Favorite business to watch: Anthropologie
Best advice you’ve ever received: Learn how to be your own best friend
happy anniversary to toth shop!
today, toth shop celebrates eight years in business. EIGHT.
for those who don’t know the story behind toth shop, here’s a refresh - and something new to consider.
In 1912, a hungarian teenager named erzabet toth boarded a transatlantic ship in the belgian port at antwerp. like millions of individuals and families at the time, she was bound for ellis island in new york city, looking to start a new life, to reimagine and rewrite the family story. she spoke no english. she had very little - if any - money. she had no one waiting for her in america.
recently, i’ve thought a lot about that story. what it took to hear the old-school alarm clock go off at, what i imagine would be, 2am. to know you have a 24+hour train trip ahead of you from pácin, a village in northeastern hungary, to antwerp where you’ll board a ship for a multi-week trip across an ocean. again, as a teenage girl no more than 15 years old, traveling alone. no real plan, no family support, no clue if any of this was worth it. and yet, you do it. you go.
if that was you, and that alarm went off - would you go?
i know some people who would; i know some people who wouldn’t.
it was a baller move. it changed everything for many of us in the family. for those who don’t know, she is my great grandmother; and toth is my middle name - the heart of my name.
over the last year, i’ve become distinctly aware that that bold, driven, courageous spirit and chutzpah runs through me, our team, our creative collaborators, our clients. we work with a lot of people who would hear that pre-dawn alarm and make a move, literally and figuratively.
more importantly, i’ve asked myself that same question in several instances: would i ‘go’ at 2am for this? i’ve leaned into the people, places, projects, and experiences where i say ‘yes’ to that question.
because, more often than not, when we make the choice to reimagine the story, everything changes. today - and perhaps more than 100 years from now.
here’s to year eight. here’s to all that’s to come as we continue to refine the stride.
thank you for joining us in this adventure.
thank you for trusting us with your stories, your messaging, your humans.
thank you for divulging your company’s intimate details and big pictures with us.
thank you for sharing the tears and the laughs, the sweaty messaging workouts and the celebratory lacroix or wine.
whatever it is that’s calling you, you can trust that we understand the feeling. and we’ll follow that thread with you. we’ve been doing that with you now for eight years. this is more than just copy.
thank you, or - in hungarian - köszönöm,
meg
Finding rhythm and energy
In the last six months or so, we’ve been called to help name or rename some businesses. There’s always a lot of history, a lot of story, a lot of emotion, a lot of thinking that goes into this.
It’s one of the toughest blank pages we work through.
My first question to business owners is always the same - what are names or words, just in general, that you like to say out loud?
This will not help you find the business name you’re looking for.
When you can start a working list of any words or names a business owner likes to say, you’ll get a feel for the rhythm and energy they’re subconsciously seeking in their own name.
When it’s hard to write
When it’s hard to write, set an alarm for just a minute or two. And then, just go. See what happens, where your brain goes, what hornet’s nest gets stirred up.
Treat this as your warm-up lap.
Because, when you go into it thinking of it as a warm-up lap, you know it will be slow, sloppy, clunky, stiff, awkward. And that’s totally okay.
You know it’s the first move you need to make for the game.
“Where did you come from?”
I returned home from a walk with Winnie, and I got in the building’s elevator on the ground floor. The door shut, and it slid up to the first floor. The door opened, and a couple, whom I didn’t recognize walked in. They made some small talk to Winnie, before the man turned to me, and asked, “Where did you come from?”
It felt like such a weird - and big - question. Like, in life? Like, where did I move from? Like, where did I grow up? Like, am I even from this planet?
“The ground floor,” I answered. “We like to get on down there.”
“Oh, right,” he said.
It’s a good reminder that there are some questions that are both expansive and simple all in one fell swoop.
If You Read Something You Like…
If you read something you like, and you know that thinker-writer, tell him/her/them.
Everyone likes to know something we’re thinking or writing about resonated with someone else.