A t-shirt to Nigeria, land acknowledgement 101, women’s self-confidence & a reminder to let them hear you

Last February, I mailed a toth shop tee shirt to my friend, Daniel, who lives in Lagos, Nigeria. 

Having mailed a similar package to Ghana a year before, I figured it would take a similar length of time to arrive. I checked in with him weeks later - no shirt; weeks again - no shirt. After a couple of months, I figured it was lost. 

Then, in July, the package to Daniel returned to me in Charlotte. It was postmarked several places, proof it had, in fact, made it to Lagos - but, for some reason or another, struggled to get to his home. It made it from Charlotte to Africa - and back. 

Via WhatsApp voice memos, we agreed to try another way. I would send it to his friend, Ada, in The Netherlands who would, in turn, mail it to Daniel. ‘Packages from Europe make it to Africa, better or faster or something,’ Daniel said.  

In October, I mailed the package to Ada. In January 2023, the package to Ada returned to me. Again, it had made it all the way there - with postal marks from The Netherlands to prove it - and for some reason it was undeliverable. 

At this point, it’s laughable. Like Flat Stanley, this tee is more well-traveled than most people. And it keeps coming back. This is probably the point in the story where we’d stand around the water cooler and laugh about the postal service. 

I do know this - both times the package came back, I thought to myself: How am I going to get this there? 

There are lots of times the world shrugs and flips on Netflix - oh well, f it, who cares, it’s just a tee. And it is. I’m not mailing Pulitizer prizes or rings of power. 

Here’s the bigger q though: where’s YOUR brain go when whatever it is you're working on keeps “coming back”? Do you try again? 

This weekend, I tried one more time - with the most pristinely-written address on a package mailed again to The Netherlands. I alerted all that the package was on its way. Because what’s funny is that we realized that, despite the effort to send to The Netherlands the first time, we never actually told Ada to expect the package. So, it was sitting there - and she didn’t know to look. 

Just another reminder that, just like that text you replied to in your head, but you never actually sent, communication is both the smallest and biggest move. 

101: We have a client who is delivering an address this week; she’s beginning the presentation with a land acknowledgement. What is a land acknowledgement? Here’s my definition: It’s a formal and public acknowledgement that there’s a story to this land that didn’t start when we pulled up our (Mayflower) moving van. Northwestern University says it well, too: “It’s a formal statement that recognizes and respects Indigenous Peoples as traditional stewards of this land and the enduring relationship that exists between Indigenous Peoples and their traditional territories.” I really like Northwestern’s approach to Land Acknowledgement communication and messaging. 

Good read: Why are we still telling women they lack self-confidence? Seriously. Why. Dr. Ruth Gotian wrote about that very question for Forbes; read the article here. Good personal aha: Stop thinking about it as an either/or success or failure. Think about it as: achieve a goal or learn a lesson. Just that shift will change a lot for you, I promise. 

Good listen: Ragtime’s “Make Them Hear You” by Bryan Stokes Mitchell