"It is important we know who we really are, our essence, so that those stories become the main character": A Q&A with Mindset Coach Cari Hebert
Last year, toth shop invited some of our partners and friends to share a little bit about how business and artistry come together in their respective worlds - all in 100 words or less.
One of the partners we featured was high-performance mindset coach, Carianna Hebert from The Being Approach. In her 100 words, she tackled a doozy of a phrase - 'I don't know.' It's one of those phrases that's equally comforting and challenging. How you think of it has a lot to do with your mindset - one of Cari's specialities, naturally.
In this Q&A, Cari talks about awareness, the stories we tell ourselves, and how we take action.
ms: What are some of your favorite pieces/parts of your own story?
ch: I love that I have lived many different lives within my one current life. From a very young age, I realized the power of my imagination and I love that I have been able to manifest many of the dreams that have occurred to me. Moving from a town of 700 people in New Hampshire to New York City for college, working in film in LA, landing my dream job in sports. Now getting to integrate all of my skills as a storyteller and creative to serve others in an intimate and empowering way. It really does feel like the dots line up in hindsight and I love being a work in progress.
ms: Over the years, what have you learned or become more aware of about yourself?
ch: In my work with coaching and personal development, I have become much more aware of my vulnerability and needs in relationships. As an oldest child, a Leo, an introvert - I have always related to being a leader and very independent. I enjoy my alone time. I need moments of silence and spaciousness in a day. Partnership and letting people see my process has been a challenge for me, but something that I’m getting so much out of in my thirties. It has taught me how nurturing it is to be seen for me, not just for the parts that are easy to show off.
ms: What are stories you hear a lot of people tell themselves?
ch: That something is wrong...whether it’s something wrong with themselves, their partners, their money, business, or the world. Our minds really love to focus on problems. Which, to be fair, has a purpose when we need to identify a gap and create solutions. However, I hear so many people on repeat with stories of not having enough, being the only one, self-judgment, worry, shame, blame, and I think it’s easy to get caught in relating to the world through our fears and feelings. It is important we also know who we really are, our essence, so that those stories become the main character.
ms: How do our personal stories impact our business or career stories - or vice versa?
ch: Well, I think that because what we think influences what we believe, and what we believe drives our actions, there is really no way to escape our personal stories. They are embedded in how we show up in the world, and since we spend so much of our lives working in careers - that can always be a powerful mirror. What we want to practice is directing our attention and thinking towards the beliefs we want to embody and act on behalf of. If we are operating from an outdated fear story (I.E. that we are not worthy), we might feel unnoticed, underappreciated and like there is something to prove in our work. We have to be the ones to look at what’s going on beneath the surface and get our personal needs met so that we can be powerful business leaders.
ms: If there’s one move someone can make today to move through their story or what’s blocking them, what would you tell them?
ch: Create clarity in who you want to be and what for. There has to be clarity and commitment in order to overcome persistent thoughts and habits. How do you want to show up for yourself, others, your business? Once you set the intention, the game to play is staying in integrity with that vision by aligning how you speak and how you act. Set the expectation that it’s a daily practice, not a destination.
ms: Awareness and action are a dynamo combo. What’s possible when awareness and action team up?
ch: True transformation. Integrity. Fulfillment. So much. I think as complex creatures we have such a love/hate relationship with change. We glorify it and we resist it at the same time. So many people I speak with are caught negotiating with their comfort zones - I want to change, but I am not willing to do the uncomfortable change. With just awareness, but not action, we stay the same. We don’t get the breakthrough, the growth. We have to integrate and act our way into new states of being. That to me is evolution and joy.
QUICK FIRE ROUND W CARI:
Favorite book: The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer
Favorite business to watch: Anthropologie
Best advice you’ve ever received: Learn how to be your own best friend